'I never wanted the cat': Grad student frustrated after 29-year-old roommate impulsively adopts a cat, leaving her to deal with common area catastrophes

Author image for Sarah Brown
Sarah Brown • Writer and Editor
Jun 5, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

This grad student is stuck in a real catastrophe with her roommate who impulsively adopted a cat without proper discussion. At first, she thought he was joking about getting a cat, but weeks later she came home to find a feline friend wreaking their shared space. The kitty's constant vomiting and damage to furniture are driving everyone up the wall, especially since the roommate is neglecting basic care. No vet visits, no grooming, and even using her personal kitchen bowl for the cat's water.

Despite her efforts to set boundaries, like asking him to keep the cat in his room to contain the mess, he refuses and brushes off her concerns. Adding insult to injury, he assumed silence meant consent when she never actually agreed to the adoption. This poor student is caught between being polite and protecting her living space, all while dealing with a roommate who isn't taking responsibility.

It's a classic case of "cat got your tongue?" but instead of cute cuddles, it's cat chaos. Hopefully, some honest communication and shared responsibility can turn this feline fiasco around before they all claw each other's eyes out!

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  • 01
    'He claimed that since I didn't say "no" when he asked that he took that as a "yes"
    via 1827photography / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (24F) have two roommates, we are all students at the same grad school in the same program (different years), my one roommate (29M) got a cat without really asking. About a month ago my roommate came into my room while I was studying, he walked in laughing and goes "we should get a cat" |
    via u/OrangeEcstatic6114
  • 03
    said "have you thought this through" he said "I thought of it this morning" I said "you know we have another roommate right" thinking that would lead into a roommate discussion about getting a cat. At this moment due to his laughter and the fact that he thought of it that day I thought he was joking.
    via u/OrangeEcstatic6114
  • 04
    Days went one and I never heard about getting a cat again, reinforcing the fact that I thought he was joking. A few weeks later I am at school for a seminar all day, when I got back to the apartment I saw him in the living room playing with a cat. I said "I thought you were joking about getting a cat" he said "no I was serious", at this moment I had to
    via u/OrangeEcstatic6114
  • 05
    Cheezburger Image 10513298176
    via Hanna from Pexels / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 06
    get back to studying as I had a midterm the next day so I just went up to my room and started studying thinking that maybe this won't be a big deal, I also told him that I wasn't going to help take care of the cat since it was his idea.
    via u/OrangeEcstatic6114
  • 07
    But now a few weeks later the cat is constantly puking in shared spaces and wrecking the furniture. My roommate does a terrible job taking care of the cat, he doesn't clean the food and water bowls, he doesn't feed the cat properly, he doesn't groom/ take care of her, the cat has never been to the vet for a check up even after throwing up 3x in less than 3 weeks. He also took
    via u/OrangeEcstatic6114
  • 08
    Cheezburger Image 10513298688
    via Magui-rfajardo / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 09
    one of my kitchen bowls (I paid for all of the dishes in the kitchen which I am fine with sharing with other people but not a cat), and used it as the cats water bowl. I tried to tell him things that could be done to prevent her from throwing up and also requested that he keeps the cat in his room when he isn't home so me and my other roommate don't have to deal with the vomit. I told him
    via u/OrangeEcstatic6114
  • 10
    that I never wanted the cat to begin with and never agreed to getting it but he claimed that since I didn't say "no" when he asked that he took that as a "yes" even though I never actually said yes. I know that I probably should've said something sooner but I assumed that there was nothing I could do since he had already gotten it and now he is mad at me for being mad at him.
    via u/OrangeEcstatic6114
  • 11
    Edit: I forgot to mention that I asked him to keep the cat in his room when he isn't home until he figures out why it keeps throwing up to prevent things like vomit in the living room and he flat out refused and basically implied that I was stupid for suggesting that
    via u/OrangeEcstatic6114
  • 12
    WizurdKellz NTA. Contact your landlord. This should have been done anyway but I would imagine there's an extra cost for a cat and there will be extra costs when you move out if the cat has damaged things.
    via u/WizurdKellz
  • 13
    Should have gave him a firm no when he brought it up but he was wrong not to formally address it and get everyone's permission to bring the cat home.
    via u/WizurdKellz
  • 14
    But yeah you need to address that sooner rather than later. If he's not caring for the cat properly, that place is going to be disgusting very shortly. Especially if the cat isn't fully litter box trained. Sometimes they'll pee in random places and the smell will never come out and you'll be on the hook for the damages.
    via u/WizurdKellz

  • Those extra costs should definitely come out of that roommate’s pocket. It’s not fair to make others pay for the damage caused by a cat they didn’t agree to bring home.

  • 15
    RealWanderingWiz... NTA. Having room mates requires compromise, but it seems like adding a pet to shared spaces means this should have been a joint decision and taking care of the cat certainly shouldn't be required of either of you.
    via u/RealWanderingWizard
  • 16
    He clearly isn't equipped to be a good pet owner. He's endangering the cat because he woke up one day and, on a lark, wanted a cat. He's also jeopardizing your money because there's a good chance that cat will cost y'all your security deposit or cause damage you'll be on the hook to repair.
    via u/JayFlown
  • 17
    victrin NTA. Your roommate is impulsive, inconsiderate, immature and seems to wildly misunderstand consent and social cues. Or in short, a mega-ah le.
    via u/victrin
  • 18
    see... NTA when I had a roommate, her mom surprised her with a kitten for Christmas and didn't even bother to consult me beforehand even though she did tell another one of our friends. For one, I don't even like cats. For two, all of the furniture and curtains in shared spaces were mine. I ED. The cat was P
    via u/seecarlytrip
  • 19
    destroyed my stuff and my roommate hardly took care of the litter box. That was the start of the downhill slope of our friendship. It's been more than 10 years since I moved out and I'm glad to have her out of my life. She's the biggest narcissist I've ever met.
    via u/seecarlytrip

  • Ouch, friendship shredded like a scratching post! Cats are cuddly, but they’re a big responsibility. It’s totally unfair to surprise roommates with one and expect them to deal with the fallout.

  • 20
    trashcat_attaks NTA. A few thoughts: cats groom themselves. Cats with longer thick coats might need to be brushed, but generally short haired cats don't required brushing... although some enjoy it. This doesn't excuse him NOT cleaning up the hair from places the cat likes to lie.
    via u/trashcat_attaks
  • 21
    Throwing up - cats throw up. This doesn't necessarily mean they are sick of require medical attention. 3x in 3 weeks actually isn't alarming however I'm not a vet. If this is an adult cat that was adopted from a shelter/rescue a vet visit wouldn't be necessary unless it's time for an annual visit; a kitten is a whole other story.
    via u/trashcat_attaks
  • 22
    This sounds like a make or break situation for you - also generally the tone of the post makes me think you don't like living with animals. This roommate should have asked first but probably didn't think it necessary because he didn't consider how it would impact anyone else living there.
    via u/trashcat_attaks
  • 23
    How is your other roommate responding to the presence of the cat?
    via u/trashcat_attaks

  • Sounds like it’s time for a roommate roundtable. Everyone needs to sit down, talk openly about the cat situation, and figure out a fair plan before the fur really starts flying!

  • 24
    Sad-Mulberry-3856 NTA. I would be pred. That effects everyone in the house. I have horrible cat allergies and if my roommate did that I would go out of my way to sneeze on them every chance I got
    via u/Sad-Mulberry-3856
  • 25
    JayFlown NTA Your roommates ks in a pretty epic way.
    via u/JayFlown

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pets fight adopted feline argument roommates Cats college
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